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    <h1>File Under: Five Minutes Of Alpha</h1>
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<p class="nav"><span class="nav-left">Listed under <a href="/heartiste-2011.html">Heartiste: 2011</a>.</span><span class="nav-right"><a href="/theme.html">Theme</a></span></p>
<p>From the <a href="https://heartiste.org/2011/03/11/file-under-five-minutes-of-alpha/" target="_blank">original article</a> on March 11, 2011. Author: <a href="https://heartiste.org/" target="_blank">Chateau Heartiste</a>.</p>
  <!-- This article was generated automatically using GigaChad System Alpha: HEARTISTE v1.0. If there are any stylistic errors or bugs, please report them. -->
  <p>Monica “Keeper of the cigars” Lewinsky says she’s <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20141227030749/http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1365046/Im-love-Bill-Friends-say-Monica-Lewinsky-got-married-kids.html" target="_blank">still in love</a> with super alpha Bill Clinton:</p>
  <blockquote><p>Bill Clinton’s former intern Monica Lewinsky has not got married or had children because she is reportedly still in love with him and ‘always will be’.</p><p>‘Monica still hasn’t got over Bill and would take him back in a second,’ a friend said.</p><p>‘She told me: “There will never be another man in my life that could make me as happy as he did”,’ the friend told the National Enquirer magazine.</p><p>‘Monica still carries a torch for him. She’s dated some [betas], off and on, since the whole White House mess. But she’s never been able to get Bill out of her heart’.</p></blockquote>
  <p>When a woman has blown the President of the United States — and let’s face it, it doesn’t get much more alpha than President — no other man can compare. And this is true regardless of the looks of the woman. A bloated seacow like Lewinsky should be ecstatic to receive the attention of a middling beta male, but after Bill’s tender ministrations her hamster lurched all the way to hyperdrive and warped into a parallel mentalverse where she thinks dropping on bended knee to service the Cock in Chief a few times is proof he loves her and she has the goods to attract the very highest value men. If this isn’t a classic real-world example of the maxim that women prefer five minutes of alpha to five years of beta, I don’t know what is.</p>
  <p>Unfortunately for Monica’s self-regard, she’s still a fat aging shit, so Bill stuffing her mouth full of bubbameat a long time ago didn’t, in actuality, raise her sexual market value at all like it would have done for a male intern who plowed a female head of state. She might think she’s all that and a milkshake, but she’s just another waddling turd like 60% of the American outback. For women, their status equation is simple:</p>
  <p>Looks, looks, looks.</p>
  <p>So what happens when a horny alpha male with time on his hands and a convenient outlet down the White House hall decides to inflate a chubby chick’s ego by stuffing his cock in her face? Well, you combine his charmingly Ozarkian attentions with a woman’s natural inclination to optimistically reevaluate her sexual worth every time an alpha dumps an empty fuck in her, and, voila!, fifteen years later you get a fatter chick, single and alone.</p>
  <p>This is the perfect formula for raising the odds that a random woman will wind up a spinster with a houseful of cats:</p>
  <p>Have her get sexually plundered by a super alpha a few times in her prime + throw a good thirty pounds of blubber on her frame = overinflated sense of self and an <a href="/settling.html" target="_blank">unyielding refusal to settle</a> that is conveniently aided by her grotesque body which makes her invisible to lesser beta men who might otherwise think about dating her.</p>
  <blockquote><p>When Clinton’s memoir My Life came out in 2004, Miss Lewinsky spoke of her upset at its contents to the Daily Mail, saying rather than being a physical fling, it was a mutual relationship.</p><p>‘He could have made it right with the book, but he hasn’t. He is a revisionist of history. He has lied.</p><p>‘I really didn’t expect him to go into detail about our relationship’, she added. ‘But if he had and he’d done it honestly, I wouldn’t have minded.’</p><p>She believed he made it sound like the dalliance came only at her initiative and was purely physical.</p></blockquote>
  <p>Color me shocked that a spurned woman still in thrall to an alpha male she blew a few times fifteen years ago would misinterpret the “relationship” and project her female need for love and affection onto his motivations. Newsflash, Monica: You were the nearest available hole.</p>
  <p>That said, it is possible Bill loved Monica. I mean, the guy was married to hatchet-faced Hillary ferkrissakes. A young, albeit chubby, chick working within his line of sight could very easily inspire a gush of genuine love from a suffering older man long-married to a ballcutting feminist shrike.</p>
  <blockquote><p>‘He talked about it as though I had laid it all out there for the taking. I was the buffet and he just couldn’t resist the dessert.’</p></blockquote>
  <p>Darlin’, you ate the buffet:</p>
  <a href="/files/A9fQMHLE.jpg" target="_blank"><img class="center" src="/files/A9fQMHLE.jpg"></a>
  <p>The lesson here is not whether Bill did or didn’t love Monica. The lesson is that it is bad news for beta males when women get a few months of ego-boosting lovemaking with alpha males. I speak from some experience. Seeing as I have accumulated a fair amount of stalkers over my lifetime, I’m certain there are ex-girlfriends who still to this day cannot get over me, and have bid their time alone rather than settle for second-best.</p>
  <p>Women will fondly remember those alpha male intimate moments for years afterwards — in fact, they’ll remember right up until they are reclined on their deathbeds — and their ability to bond with lesser men will be severely compromised. Even when she is a fat fuck who should be thankful for any male attention.</p>
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