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43 lines
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<h1>How I Break Up With Girls</h1>
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<p class="nav"><span class="nav-left">Listed under <a href="/heartiste-2008.html">Heartiste: 2008</a>.</span><span class="nav-right"><a href="/theme.html">Theme</a></span></p>
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<p>From the <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20140711084629/https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2008/01/04/how-i-break-up-with-girls/" target="_blank">original article</a> on January 4, 2008. Author: <a href="https://heartiste.org/" target="_blank">Chateau Heartiste</a>.</p>
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<p>I don’t lower the boom or pull the band-aid off quickly. In potentially high drama situations, I simply don’t trust a lot of the girls I dump to not come at me with a carved wooden swordfish. (It’s happened.) Nor do I break up like a beta through text or email. Nope, I just let it fade. Taking the easy way out has its virtues. No muss, no fuss.</p>
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<p>So I kind of let the end sneak up on her. I gradually see her less. Whenever she wants to do something I say “Sure... I guess.” I don’t return calls promptly. I make a big production of NOT being chivalrous. I spend even less money on her than I normally do. Eventually, a whole week goes by where I haven’t seen her, or more than a day passes before I’ve returned a call, or she gets hit in the ass by a revolving door that I’ve barreled through first, or I’ve started recycling my “free date” options where I get to do the things I wanted to do anyhow (like sample all the Fenders in Guitar Center) and she gets to be a spectator. It’s at this point that she scratches her head and wonders “Wow, I think we’re broken up. What just happened?”</p>
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<p>That’s my MO. I’ll know I have succeeded when I can get the girl to ask herself “What just happened?”</p>
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<p>What just happened is you have crossed paths with the poonhound.</p>
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<p class="C">Library of GigaChad | <a href="/" target="_blank">GigaChad</a></p>
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