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<title>I Will Not Drink Fucking Merlot! — GigaChad</title>
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<h1>I Will Not Drink Fucking Merlot!</h1>
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<p class="nav"><span class="nav-left">Listed under <a href="/heartiste-2009.html">Heartiste: 2009</a>.</span><span class="nav-right"><a href="/theme.html">Theme</a></span></p>
<p>From the <a href="https://heartiste.org/2009/09/09/i-will-not-drink-fucking-merlot/" target="_blank">original article</a> on September 9, 2009. Author: <a href="https://heartiste.org/" target="_blank">Chateau Heartiste</a>.</p>
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<p>There is a group of SWPLs outside on the balcony right now discussing the finer points of wine. They are mocking some mutual friend they know for being pretentious about wine by... <em>being pretentious about wine.</em></p>
<p>“Oh, like, so X says she had dinner with Napa Valley’s best sommelier.”</p>
<p>“She’s such a wine snob. I swear she brought table wine last month to X’s party.”</p>
<p>Their insipid blather has ruined my pleasant evening of pipe smoking and single malt drinking. I loathe SWPLs. If hypocrisy and status whoring were hellfire their screams of torment would echo through the ages.</p>
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