50 lines
4.7 KiB
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50 lines
4.7 KiB
HTML
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<h1>She Showed Herself Out</h1>
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<p class="nav"><span class="nav-left">Listed under <a href="/heartiste-2007.html">Heartiste: 2007</a>.</span><span class="nav-right"><a href="/theme.html">Theme</a></span></p>
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<p>From the <a href="https://heartiste.org/2007/11/12/she-showed-herself-out/" target="_blank">original article</a> on November 12, 2007. Author: <a href="https://heartiste.org/" target="_blank">Chateau Heartiste</a>.</p>
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<p>The weekend morning after a questionable hook-up I often scramble to find a plausible excuse that will gently cajole the girl out the door without hurting her feelings.</p>
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<p>“I’d love to hang with you today but I’ve got to take my car into the shop. Big job... it’ll probably take a few hours.” [my Japanese car has now been in the shop over 20 times this year thanks to this ploy]</p>
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<p>“Getting brunch with you sounds great, but I promised my Mom I’d visit her today. I’m guessing it’s too early for you to see my Mom.”</p>
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<p>“I’ve got a painting class in... oh shit, I’m late!... 15 minutes! Sorry to do this to you but my art is important to me.”</p>
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<p>I suspect most girls see through this bullshit, especially the girls who are prone to sleep with a guy on the first night. Their direct first-hand experience with guys trying to get rid of them after sex must be unparalleled. The problem is that I really don’t want to spend a precious weekend day with a marginal girl strolling Wisteria Lane while bluebirds drape garlands of flowers over us. But I’m not a heartless bastard (much) either, so I work hard on tossing her out with grace and civility, hopefully keeping the door open for future loving.</p>
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<p>I remember what it’s like to kick a girl out badly. One time, before I had the skills to handle morning after mistakes properly, the girl had looked at me forlornly with big, watery eyes as I walked her toward the door, and meekly asked if I wanted to get breakfast with her. It was her last ditch effort for some symbolic gesture from me that she meant more than the previous night.</p>
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<p>I answered “Um, I ate last night. The best way for you to get home is to take the metro.”</p>
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<p>She gathered her stuff, purse over one arm, jacket over the other, and sullenly walked past me as I stood next to the door. Later, when I had shaken off the hangover and it had dawned on me that this girl was Swedish and a solid 8, I slapped my hand against my forehead and wondered aloud what the hell I was thinking. The following day in an act of phone game contrition, I called her number. It was futile. Her roommate picked up her phone and said my girl didn’t want to talk to me. No surprise... recapturing a girl’s interest after you have humiliated her by treating her like a disposable slut is akin to putting the toothpaste back in the tube.</p>
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<p>So imagine my relief at sidestepping all the awkwardness when a girl does the dirty work for me, letting me entirely off the hook, by preemptively showing herself the door.</p>
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<p><em>Her: I’d love to cuddle some more but I’ve got work later and some chores to do today.<br>Me: </em>[barely suppressing grin] <em>Well, if this is what you have to do, then I guess I won’t stop you. I mean, I’d love for you to hang out today but since you’ve got things to do...<br>Her: Well, maybe for a couple hours, if you want.<br>Me: Uhh, you know, you go ahead and do your stuff... we’ll catch up when we have more free time and can really enjoy each other’s company.</em></p>
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<p>A girl who shows herself out is a keeper.</p>
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<p class="C">Library of GigaChad | <a href="/" target="_blank">GigaChad</a></p>
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