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<h1>How To Handle Self-Deprecating Fatties</h1>
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<p class="nav"><span class="nav-left">Listed under <a href="/heartiste-2013.html">Heartiste: 2013</a>.</span><span class="nav-right"><a href="/theme.html">Theme</a></span></p>
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<p>From the <a href="https://heartiste.org/2013/05/21/how-to-handle-self-deprecating-fatties/" target="_blank">original article</a> on May 21, 2013. Author: <a href="https://heartiste.org/" target="_blank">Chateau Heartiste</a>.</p>
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<p>GLPiggy <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20130601060926/http://glpiggy.net/2013/05/20/the-elephant-in-the-room/" target="_blank">has a post</a> about fat customers at his restaurant joking about their weight and putting wait staff in a difficult spot.</p>
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<blockquote><p>A co-worker at the restaurant came looking for my wisdom the other day. “What do you say when a fat customer jokes about their weight?” This happens a lot in booth sections, by the way. Fat people struggle to squeeze into booths and, because they are embarrassed about it, make light of their size. I have a friend at work who makes jokes about being big. I don’t bite by lying and automatically saying that she’s skinny. She’s not fat, but she’s not skinny. I just don’t want to play that game so I tell her, jokingly (yeah, I cop out), that it’s not right to put people on the spot like that. You’re either begging for a lie or making that person feel like a jerk for agreeing.</p></blockquote>
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<p>How people <em>should</em> respond to self-deprecating fatties and how people <em>will</em> respond are two different things. Here is how people <em>will</em> respond, based on the type of person subject to the awkward fatty self-flagellation:</p>
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<p>Fatty: “Oh, wow, I must be getting fat. I can’t fit into this booth.”</p>
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<p>Thin woman: “No, you look good!”<br/> Thin woman, later with her friends: “Did you see that fat bitch?”<br/> Fat woman: “No, you look good!”<br/> Fat woman, later to herself: “What a fat bitch.”<br/> Omega male: “No, you look good!”<br/> Omega male, later to himself: “I wonder if she liked me?”<br/> Beta male: *smiles and nods sympathetically with pursed lips*<br/> Beta male, later with his friends: “I’m getting tired of these fat chicks hitting on me.”<br/> Alpha male: *blank stare*<br/> Alpha male, later with his friends: “Hey, Beta Male, the really cute chick at table six wants you to come out and say hi. Says she knows you from her World of Warcraft guild.”<br/> Alpha male who doesn’t care about losing his job: “Admitting you have a problem is half the battle.”</p>
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<p>The following is how people <em>should</em> respond with an eye on shaming the nation of human supernovas to end their sixty year gromance with self-inflicted deformity:</p>
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<p>Fatty: “Oh, wow, I must be getting fat. I can’t fit into this booth.”</p>
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<p>Avatar of Lightness: “<strong>Yup.</strong>“</p>
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<p>Chuck likes the idea of “agreeing and amplifying” a fatty’s self-deprecation. So, for instance:</p>
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<p>Fatty: “Oh, wow, I must be getting fat. I can’t fit into this booth.”</p>
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<p>Avatar of Lightness: “You and me both!” [this is even funnier if you’re skinny and patting your flat stomach while saying it] “I’ll put you down for a Diet Coke then?”</p>
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<p>Or, if you prefer to insert your Shiv with more subtlety:</p>
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<p>Fatty: ”Oh, wow, I must be getting fat. I can’t fit into this booth.”</p>
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<p>Avatar of Lightness: “Don’t worry about it. The booths are made for anorexics. Anyone who judges you is just jealous.”</p>
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<p>The game lesson here is as applicable <a href="/its-a-trap.html" target="_blank">to girls who self-deprecate as a way to “entrap” beta males</a> as it is to fatties seeking a sympathy compliment. You can validate them and play their game, or you can joust and play your game.</p>
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