53 lines
4.4 KiB
HTML
53 lines
4.4 KiB
HTML
<!DOCTYPE html>
|
||
<html lang="en">
|
||
<head>
|
||
<meta charset="UTF-8">
|
||
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1">
|
||
<title>Icebreakers For The SWPL Chicks In Your Neighborhood — GigaChad</title>
|
||
<link rel="icon" href="/favicon.ico">
|
||
<link rel="stylesheet" href="/style.css?v=1">
|
||
<meta property="og:type" content="website">
|
||
<meta property="og:title" content="Icebreakers For The SWPL Chicks In Your Neighborhood — GigaChad">
|
||
<meta property="og:description" content="The greatest website on the interwebz!">
|
||
<meta property="og:image" content="/icons/chads/chad.png">
|
||
</head>
|
||
<body>
|
||
<script>
|
||
const setTheme = () => {
|
||
const root = document.documentElement
|
||
const storage = localStorage.length > 0 ? localStorage : sessionStorage
|
||
for (let key in storage) {
|
||
if (storage.hasOwnProperty(key)) {
|
||
root.style.setProperty(key, storage.getItem(key))
|
||
}
|
||
}
|
||
}
|
||
setTheme()
|
||
document.addEventListener('visibilitychange', () => { if (!document.hidden) setTheme() })
|
||
</script>
|
||
<h1>Icebreakers For The SWPL Chicks In Your Neighborhood</h1>
|
||
<div style="text-align: center;">
|
||
<a href="/"><img class="epic" src="/icons/chads/chad.png"></a>
|
||
</div>
|
||
<hr>
|
||
<p class="nav"><span class="nav-left">Listed under <a href="/heartiste-2010.html">Heartiste: 2010</a>.</span><span class="nav-right"><a href="/theme.html">Theme</a></span></p>
|
||
<p>From the <a href="https://heartiste.org/2010/03/04/icebreakers-for-the-swpl-chicks-in-your-neighborhood/" target="_blank">original article</a> on March 4, 2010. Author: <a href="https://heartiste.org/" target="_blank">Chateau Heartiste</a>.</p>
|
||
<!-- This article was generated automatically using GigaChad System Alpha: HEARTISTE v1.0. If there are any stylistic errors or bugs, please report them. -->
|
||
<p>Is your neighborhood infested with status whoring but <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20141227031231/http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/" target="_blank">irresistibly cute SWPL girls</a>? Then you need an icebreaker tailor made for their fastidiously ironic sensibilities. Let’s say you and the SWPL girl of your infatuations are sifting through a selection of $10 jars of almond butter at Whole Foods. Unless you are a savvy shopper, most stuff at Whole Foods is ridiculously overpriced. Knowing this, you look across your shoulder at her and say:</p>
|
||
<p>“If it isn’t overpriced, I don’t feel like I’m getting my money’s worth.”</p>
|
||
<p>Wait for her to smile (she will, if she doesn’t take herself too seriously) and enjoy that moment when your pinkies touch reaching for the same jar of almond butter.</p>
|
||
<p>Now you’re at the local dog park, a place where SWPLs can feel morally upstanding for giving their dogs the opportunity to run free on a scruffy patch of 10 feet by 20 feet crabgrass (artificial grass if you’re at the Dupont dog park.) A tasty number sits down near you with her pomeranian in tow.</p>
|
||
<p>“The great thing about dogs is that you don’t have to worry about moving out of the city when they get old enough to go to school.”</p>
|
||
<p>What if you see the SWPL of your dreams at the local bike shop, where she’s purchasing enough biking accoutrements to outfit a small, fitness-oriented Central American guerilla army?</p>
|
||
<p>“I really recommend that aquapac. It’s good to be prepared in case you get stuck for weeks in the wilderness of Rock Creek Park.”</p>
|
||
<p>Close your eyes. Open them! Now you see a cute SWPL babe at a Georgetown consignment shop. She’s trying on musty old hats.</p>
|
||
<p>“That hat would be even cooler on you if it was a man’s hat. And it had an Olympics pin on it.”</p>
|
||
<p>You’re at the famed E Street Cinema in downtown DC. You’re standing in line next to a SWPL babe to see a sub-subtitled foreign flic of mega-ironic proportions. (It’s originally spoken in Czech, dubbed over in German, subtitled in French and sub-subtitled in English.) You capture her attention while waiting in line to buy a ticket.</p>
|
||
<p>“I hope this movie comes with 3D glasses.”</p>
|
||
<p>You’re at an outdoor concert, standing in line to use the Porta-John. You get her attention and say...</p>
|
||
<p>Well, actually, nothing. There’s nothing flirty you can say while waiting to use a Porta-John. It’s just too gross.</p>
|
||
<hr>
|
||
<p class="C">Library of GigaChad | <a href="/" target="_blank">GigaChad</a></p>
|
||
</body>
|
||
</html>
|