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<h1>Sweeps Week: 2015 Punchable Shitlib Face Tournament Semifinals</h1>
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<p class="nav"><span class="nav-left">Listed under <a href="/heartiste-2015.html">Heartiste: 2015</a>.</span><span class="nav-right"><a href="/theme.html">Theme</a></span></p>
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<p>From the <a href="https://heartiste.org/2015/12/15/sweeps-week-2015-punchable-shitlib-face-tournament-semifinals/" target="_blank">original article</a> on December 15, 2015. Author: <a href="https://heartiste.org/" target="_blank">Chateau Heartiste</a>.</p>
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<!-- This article was generated automatically using GigaChad System Alpha: HEARTISTE v1.0. If there are any stylistic errors or bugs, please report them. -->
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<p>We’re back for the 2015 punchable shitlib face semifinals!</p>
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<p><strong>Bout 1: Matty “Yce Yce Baby” Yglesias vs Dylan “I’m hiding a buttplug” Matthews</strong></p>
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<p class="C">IMAGE LOST; NOT ARCHIVED</p>
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<p>Don’t be surprised if your hand reflexively curls into a fist looking at Yglesias. And multiple viewings which could conceivably inure you to his smug doughboy plushness don’t seem to lessen the urge (more like amplifies it).</p>
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<p class="C">IMAGE LOST; NOT ARCHIVED</p>
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<p>“<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20151219021411/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0eh2RP-c_U" target="_blank">Trouty Mouth</a>“.</p>
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<p>******</p>
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<p><strong>Bout 2: Pajamaboy vs Lindsey Graham</strong></p>
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<a href="/files/ZLIITsyt.jpg" target="_blank"><img class="center" src="/files/ZLIITsyt.jpg"></a>
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<p>Keep in mind, president buttsecks and his staff thought this <a href="/pajamaboy-caption-contest.html" target="_blank">milquetoast clad in jammies</a> sipping from a hot mug of cocoa was a good representative to sell their healthcare boondoggle.</p>
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<p class="C">IMAGE LOST; NOT ARCHIVED</p>
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<p>“Phew, do you smell that?! Oh, teehee, it was me!” Peter Pan, meet yourself in fifty years.</p>
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<p>******</p>
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<p>Stop the lugenpresses! We have a last-minute punchable shitlib face addition to the cards! He’s a former heavyweight champion of punchability, and a million Buzzfeed fans demanded his inclusion, so the winner of the Yglesias vs Matthews match will advance to a bonus bout against</p>
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<p><strong>McKay Coppins.</strong></p>
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<p class="C">IMAGE LOST; NOT ARCHIVED</p>
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<p>my hand... curling into a fist....... cannot stop it........ cannot....... *SWING*....... *CRACK*..........ahhhhhhhhhh</p>
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<p>McKay Coppins, for those who really must know the bios of our nation’s <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20151219021411/http://mpcdot.com/forums/topic/8368-shitlib-facespng/page__st__520#entry236594" target="_blank">listicle artisans</a>, is an ur-shitlib who lies for Buzzfeed. His mug is making the rounds because he was at a recent Trump rally and claimed to have overheard someone yell “Light the motherfucker on fire!” to a protestor; “someone” likely meaning him, a <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20151219021411/http://www.breitbart.com/big-journalism/2015/12/15/sieg-heil-dc-media-and-black-lives-matter-collaborate-to-disrupt-trump-events/" target="_blank">left wing plant</a>. Look at that doughy concave croissant Coppins sports for a face. It’s easy to picture him screeching “light the motherfucker on fire” in a faggy tone with a barely-concealed smirk as he thinks of all the good copy this will generate for his online bathhouse.</p>
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<p class="C">Library of GigaChad | <a href="/" target="_blank">GigaChad</a></p>
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