47 lines
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47 lines
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HTML
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<title>I Have Stolen Many Prime Years of Girls' Lives — GigaChad</title>
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<h1>I Have Stolen Many Prime Years of Girls' Lives</h1>
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<p class="nav"><span class="nav-left">Listed under <a href="/heartiste-2007.html">Heartiste: 2007</a>.</span><span class="nav-right"><a href="/theme.html">Theme</a></span></p>
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<p>From the <a href="https://heartiste.org/2007/10/08/i-have-stolen-many-prime-years-of-girls-lives/" target="_blank">original article</a> on October 8, 2007. Author: <a href="https://heartiste.org/" target="_blank">Chateau Heartiste</a>.</p>
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<p>That’s what my mother told me over the phone yesterday in so many words.</p>
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<blockquote>
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<p><em>Mom: Why aren’t you settled down yet?<br>Me: Just lucky, I guess?<br>Mom: Don’t be a wiseguy. You’re dating these young girls during their prime years and not marrying them. Poor things.<br>Me: I can’t believe my own mother isn’t on my side.<br>Mom: You’re stealing the best years of their lives! Don’t you feel guilty?<br>Me: I dunno. Did you feel guilty when you didn’t put out for a guy you were dating?</em><br><em>Mom: Grow up!</em></p>
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<p>Afterwards, I did ponder the wreckage of lives I have left behind in my copulatory wake. Technically, I should feel some guilt. If we define the prime marrying years of a woman to be between 21 and 26 — too young and she’ll be emotionally ill-equipped to perform her wifely duties of indulging my every need; too old and I’ll be emotionally ill-equipped to accept her indulgence — then I have squeezed the juice out of the ripest years of quite a few girls. For free. The next beta in line will be stuck marrying the rind.</p>
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<p>I take a philosophical view of my biological thievery. While I have reneged on my end of the deal, many women renege on theirs when they string a man along in LJBF perpetuity. What guy with bloated testes hasn’t heard this from a girl he really liked: <em>“you’re my friend. i just don’t see you in that way.”</em></p>
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<p>Therefore, my actions are helping to bring balance to the force. On the cosmic scales of justice the cads and the cockteases are locked in battle supreme for everlasting victory. I unsheath my sword with strength of purpose.</p>
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<p>On a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being tongue lightly grazing the cheek and 5 being tongue firmly pressed to side of mouth, this post was 2 tongue in cheeks.</p>
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<p class="C">Library of GigaChad | <a href="/" target="_blank">GigaChad</a></p>
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